Change a Habit
Can I ask you a quick question about the way you change habits?
When you are attempting to change a habit, do you focus on cultivating the new habit or stopping the old one?
I suspect, by simply ready this heading, you will already be having that light bulb moment of….aha…..I see where this is going!
The scientific research says we should all focus our efforts on creating and solidifying the NEW HABIT and not the act of stopping the old one. It makes sense really 🤔
Can I ask you another question….
Do you really want to make change?
It has been said that pain is often the only thing that motivates lasting change…that only when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of the change do we do anything meaningful about it.
I find this both sobering and inspiring.
If we really want to make change that lasts (ideally before the excessive pain), don’t re-invent the wheel…do what every successful habit changer has one before you….start with the new habit formation.
A really good example of a common habit I see in clinic, is snacking in the evening after dinner. Something has triggered you to make a change to this habit, so….you tell yourself, over and over that ‘I am not gonna snack anymore’. Sometimes we say it out loud, but often we are repeating this several times in the comfort of our own heads! Your brain hears this loud and clear. But what is it actually hearing? What is the focus in the sentence? Restriction and Denial. AND what word is being repeated?…..Yup…..snacking! You are quite literally, tormenting yourself.
So the absolute best thing to do here is to stop that nonsense and cultivate a new habit in place of the old one.
In this example I would suggest you make a list of things that are possible for you to do instead of snacking, like:
- take a bath
- read 10 pages of a motivational/uplifting book
- listen to a few of your favourite songs
- go for a walk round the block or do a bit of movement (ie. yoga)
- make healthy food for tomorrow
As the new habit is repeated, it builds in strength and the old habit starts to fade away.
This is much stronger than the denial and ‘don’t snack’ approach.
The new behaviour even has something else going for it…the reward feedback loop. Boom! It makes you feel good. Your brain gets sprayed with feel good chemicals and it reinforces your new behaviour, making it even easier next time.
One more thing…
The new behaviour has to be easy peasy. It has be repeatable without too much effort. I often see something like ‘go to the gym’ as a replacement for sofa snack time! Whilst this is a great idea for your health, if you seriously think you are going to replace your effortless Netflix, scoff and chill with a gym workout every evening, there might be a need to reassess your achievable goal setting! 😉 (even I couldn’t do that).
The very definition of a habit is something that your body doesn’t have to think about. It just does it.
Keep the switch simple & achievable and watch yourself nail that new habit in record time.
Thanks for reading.
See you next time
Michelle 💛
ps. click here for insta reel on this and on a similar topic of feeling great with better habits check out this blog I wrote early 2023